Is It Worth It? Am I Worth It?
Do you look around you at the world in general, the rising costs, the breaking ecosystems, the rise of fascism and the general precarity of absolutely everything, everywhere all at once, and figure maybe it’s not worth the effort to try to get to remission—that you’re not worth the effort?
Or perhaps it’s not so much that you’re not worth the effort, but that more immediate concerns are weighing upon you. Perhaps you face such precarity that refeeding is beyond your almost nonexistent budget.
I’m here to lay before you the reasons why it’s worth the effort and you’re worth the effort, not in spite of these times we live in, but specifically because of them.
Number One
You and everyone around you needs your fabulous brain.
Plenty of things impair brain function, and not taking in enough energy for the living system is one of those ways. You may undereat or undereat/reactively eat. You may actually think you have a problem with overeating but the issue really is that you are trying to maintain a level of eating that is far below what your body really needs and it’s not wanting to sign up for that. In all cases, you have an energy deficit and that lowers your brain’s ability to function.
Brains are also notoriously incapable of recognizing their own impairment in real time.
In one revealing study, healthy females fasted for 18 hours and their set-shifting and central coherence were assessed both before and at the end of the fasting period.
“Set-shifting is the ability to move flexibly between different tasks or mental ‘sets’. Set-shifting difficulties may manifest as cognitive or behavioural inflexibility, for example, rigid approaches to problem solving or difficulties managing dynamic social interactions…
Clinically, weak central coherence is associated with paying attention to details, alongside difficulties integrating global concepts into a broader understanding”
Clinically, weak central coherence is associated with paying attention to details, alongside difficulties integrating global concepts into a broader understanding.”[1]
Fasting impaired set shifting with strong local and impaired global processing, denoting weaker central coherence. [2] What does that mean? It means under-energized individuals struggle, in dynamically changing environments, to adjust as things change, and they cannot connect the more immediate important details that are unfolding (and capture their attention) with any associated global or broader trends or possible impacts.
You cannot go with the flow and change up plans to better respond to what’s unfolding and you can’t anticipate possible threats or calls to action based on the immediate things unfolding before you as well.
A fasted brain had niches throughout history where the intransigence and propensity to focus on the immediate details over the broader implications helped the individual thrive in highly constrained environments such as life in a nunnery or monastery, careers in exacting craftsmanship or even some laboratory work of today. I should point out, however, that a fasted brain is an impaired brain. It’s possible to have a fully functional brain that can apply significant focus on immediate details and yet it can also handle broad implications and navigate set shifting on a whim as well.
I also want to be clear that set shifting challenges for those with autism are not as well delineated as that of the impairments of fasting in the study referenced above. Most studies identifying that set shifting difficulties are present for those with autism depend upon the Wisconsin Card Sorting Test (WCST):
“In summary, with respect to clinical neuropsychological measures, only studies using the WCST clearly report deficits [in those identified with autism] (i.e. has high discriminating power), whereas the findings of studies using other measures are inconsistent, but generally do not support these findings.”
The WCST was not used in the fasting study referenced above to uncover set shifting impairments due to fasting. It means that set shifting challenges may not actually be a facet of the expression of autism in either children or adults, but it assuredly is for those who don’t eat or try to undereat relative to their energy requirements.
Number Two
Times of hardship bring out the best and the worst. You need your wits about you.
During the rise of fascism and totalitarianism, historically, it’s a time of increased suspicion and heightened distrust. That general timbre across society is warranted as there is significant benefit for those who decide to “turn someone else in,” or find favour with the dominant regime as a way to generally put food on the table and protect one’s immediate family. It doesn’t mean that everyone is just out for themselves, but trust needs to move at a slower pace to be sure you’re not at risk.
If your brain is thoroughly consumed with thoughts of food, which is what happens when you are not getting the energy you require, then you are at a disadvantage in all human interactions in a time that requires all of your “spidey senses.” You need your unencumbered focus available to hone in on others during all interactions. You need to weigh up what you will and won’t say, and in what ways you may or may not ask for, or provide, any support or help in real time.
The phrase “Loose lips sink ships” originates from WWII propaganda posters in the US. The message is: unguarded chitchat could have grave and deadly ramifications.
No one wants to be gripped with paranoia, which is another reason why a well-fed brain is your best friend in challenging times. When you are able to pay attention and your spidey senses are in top form, you are careful and circumspect, rather than impulsive and subsequently regretful.
Number Three
Enough stuff will come your way as health challenges, so don’t let things go unattended that could get better with attention.
No one gets out or this life alive in the sense that we’re all mortal. Next to no one gets to live a life without disability either. Unless your life is cut instantaneously and tragically short by accident or violence when you are young, you will experience chronic illness and disability at some point before you die.
In fact, if you have an eating disorder, then you already have a chronic illness at play. Even if your circumstances mean you can’t find the funds to refeed let alone rest, don’t let that be the reason you give yourself to not try. Eating disorders can be jostled into remission, where many more kinds of chronic conditions simply don’t give you any options. Remember that ultra-processed foods are often the least expensive option and they offer the most energy per food weight. Read the Food Fears series to understand more about why this fact isn’t the horror our culture has led us to believe.
Working to get an eating disorder into remission, or lowering the intensity of the symptoms, is always worth it. Not because it always ends with a return to unobscured health by any means, but because it teaches you a tremendous amount about how to navigate the inevitability of chronic illness and it ratchets up your flexibility, central coherence, set shifting and general resilience. You will feel more capable and competent when facing what lies ahead in the times to come.
And as for the question as to whether you’re worth the effort of trying to get an eating disorder into remission, the answer is “yes, you’re worth it.” Why? First and foremost, it’s because you exist. That’s it. You have innate value as a human being. Beyond that, people with chronic conditions are increasingly targeted and viewed as expendable right at a time where their unique insights into the human condition are most needed for us all.
If it came down to my own survival, I’d take a rag tag bunch of disabled and chronically ill people over a group that fashions itself as genetically chosen to rule over us all. History has never been kind to supremacists in the end. Their time on the rise is brutal but it’s also brittle.
If you cannot internalize your own innate value just yet, then know that your senses of doubt, humility, insecurity and distress that surge forth for anyone with any chronic illness, make you the kind of human being that prevails in the end.
Pender S, Gilbert SJ, Serpell L. The neuropsychology of starvation: set-shifting and central coherence in a fasted nonclinical sample. PloS one. 2014 Oct 22;9(10):e110743.
ibid.
Geurts HM, Corbett B, Solomon M. The paradox of cognitive flexibility in autism. Trends in cognitive sciences. 2009 Feb 1;13(2):74-82.
